“Life needs to be cared for, or it dies.”
That seemed evident many years ago when, in the fall of 1982, after reading a play written by my father, I started to question what distinguishes living things from non-living things, and what causes us to like and love one another.
For the next 13 years, I worked for non-profits and in politics but never lost sight of that question and what it means. I then attended graduate school, completed two masters degrees, became a psychotherapist, and have continued to pursue this question ever since.
In mental health research these days, we know that healthy relationships are the most important contributing factor to our well being. Dedicated, loving, mutually caring relationships establish and maintain the strongest and the most stable mental health. But why? Why are relationships so important?
We know that evolution played a large role in that development. We are a relatively weak animal, and we need each other to survive in a world of larger and more dangerous forces — it’s the eat or be eaten thing. We need strong emotional bonds to care about each other in all practical matters and to protect each other from harm. In other words, because “life needs to be cared for or it dies,” we are a type of animal that needs steady and sometimes fiercely caring relationships to survive. In fact, some type of caring relationship seems to be a common theme throughout all mammalian species.
So, biologically speaking, or in live or die terms, caring relationships in our species make a lot of sense. And now science is backing that up. But what comes before that? Why care at all? And are caring relationships the only caring feature of our biology?
Actually, we need many caring systems to keep us alive. These are the muscular system, skeletal system, cardiovascular system, sensory system, as well as the cognitive, behavioral, and emotional systems, among many others. They are all, in fact, caring systems to keep us existing. Individual cells combine to construct these systems, and cells are individually caring systems in and of themselves. Multiple organic components of each cell operate in unison to keep each cell alive, or existing.
When you think of it this way, the idea of caring can be seen in every part of us, from the cells that comprise the biologically vital systems, to the systems that work together in a caring fashion to keep us alive — to keep us existing.
But now let’s go deeper. What comes before that? Before cells become alive and form the basis of all living organisms, what exists to make them? Cells are obviously made of matter, which are nonliving chemicals, but how are the two related, or non-living matter and living matter?
That’s where the Universal Law of Existing offers an explanation.
Passive “Existing” — Interacting Quantum Fields of Energy
In what scientists call the “big bang,” which occurred an estimated 13.8 billion years ago, everything in the universe sprang from a single point of energy. The scientists who study this, or physicists/cosmologists, tell us they do not know what existed at the moment before the big bang, but within a fraction of a second, they do know. They tell us after that single point of energy — which some call the singularity — 17 fields of energy emerged. Each of those fields of energy exist today throughout the universe, and the interactions between those fields create everything in the known universe, including you and me.
Those 17 fields of energy form the Standard Model and include the twelve fields which eventually comprise all matter, four fields that are the four forces of the universe, including gravity and the electromagnetic force, and finally, the recently famous Higgs field. Physicists tell us that excitations in each field create particles, or bunches of energy, such as electrons, quarks, and the Higgs bozon. These particles, or excitations, can also be thought of as waves in each field. These waves constantly interact with each other to create everything in the universe. That’s everything in the universe.
This is especially important in how the electrons and quarks interact with the Higgs field to give them their mass. Physicists tell us that the Higgs field slows the momentum of certain particles of energy, such as quarks and electrons, which then gives rise to their mass. They also say that matter is nothing more than congealed energy, and the Higgs field explains how this occurs. Also, Albert Einstein‘s famous equation, E = mc2, illustrates this perfectly, or that energy and matter are equivalent.
It’s quite a thought experiment to imagine that if somebody could flip an off switch for the Higgs field, everything — I mean everything — in the universe would instantly vanish. That’s trillions and trillions of stars and planets, billions of light-years apart throughout the universe, and everything we know on our planet, including you and I — instantly gone. Luckily, there is no such thing as an off switch for the Higgs field, so we are safe...
If you would like to watch a fascinating one-hour lecture on how these 17 fields interact to create everything, represented as quantum field theory, please see the link below. It’s by David Tong, Professor of Theoretical Physics, Cambridge University. His lecture is called Quantum Fields: The Real Building Blocks of the Universe, and it’s amazing, illuminating, and accessible by non-physicists, like you and me.
This is a slide from David Tong's presentation that describes, in a mathematical equation, the "theory of everything," including the force fields, the matter fields, and the Higgs field.
Important note: One of the descriptions in his lecture — and others — of quantum fields is that they are constantly in movement (String Theory?). With that in mind, you can’t say that a field is a noun, because it isn’t. It’s an active, continuous wave property that creates excitations constantly, which continuously interact with other waves of other fields. In this sense, this action, at the most fundamental level in and of the universe, is a verb. Keeping this description in mind, please know I will describe these particles and everything they make as existing, or a continuous process of existing. Also, as the scientists tell us, nothing in the universe, except perhaps this underlying energy, lasts forever; so everything — from quarks and electrons, to atoms, to molecules, to complex structures, to living cells, to plants and animals — is existing until it isn’t. And that’s really the essence of the Universal Law of Existing, or everything — down to the building blocks of the universe — is existing until it isn’t.
Once these 17 fields of energy began existing within 1 trillionth of a second after the big bang, we now have the building blocks for everything else. Quarks sort of glue together (literally with the help of the gluon field) to make protons and neutrons. Protons and neutrons form the nucleus of every atom in the universe, which includes electrons in some sort of fuzzy movement around the nucleus. Atoms fuse together (which is a long and remarkable story in and of itself) to form molecules. Molecules are the important elements, like water, or H2O, and mlecules are chemicals, which, after a ridiculously long period of time — billions of years — eventually create life here on earth.
If you would like to watch another wonderfully informative and accessible lecture on all of this, please see the link below. These talks, along with the one above, are among the best I’ve found to explain these complicated issues. His name is Sean Carroll, and he’s an astrophysicist from the California Institute of Technology. His talk is called The Big Picture: On the Origins of Life, Meaning, and the Universe Itself.
Here is Sean Carroll's diagram from his talk, succinctly showing what is required for everything to exist (or, actually, existing). His talk states that only 9 fundamental particles/forces/fields of the Standard Model are actually needed, as other are more superfluous to our existing.
Now, in terms of the Universal Law of Existing, it simply states that everything in the universe is existing until it isn’t. It’s obviously a profoundly simple idea. But at the moment before the big bang, something was existing — physicists and cosmologists are not sure what that was — and after the big bang, 17 fields are existing, and they still are today. Those 17 fields continuously cause things we can measure to be existing, or the 12 particles of matter, the 4 force fields, and the Higgs field. All of those, as I explained above, cause everything in the universe to be existing.
Existing also implies that someday a particular particle, atom, molecule, or chemical will no longer continue existing. From what I can tell in my research, a Higgs boson, or an excitation in the Higgs field, is existing for something like a fraction of a second. But other particles, atoms, and molecules can be existing for much longer periods of time. The key reality for each is that there is a time of existing until it doesn’t.
This is strikingly evident in the fact that physicists and cosmologists tell us that the universe will eventually end in a heat death, or that after a quadrillion years or so, everything will heat up and return to that simple form of hot, dense energy. Remarkably, that’s what scientists believe the universe was at the time before the big bang, or an unimaginably hot, dense dot of energy.
How does all this relate to the idea that life needs to be cared for, or it dies? Well, life is simply a different type of existing. It’s different because it’s active. Everything living is actively working to continue its existing. The physical matter of the universe is passively existing, but life is actively existing.
Again, from my research, I find that scientists define life as something with a membrane (or protective shell), metabolism, and the ability to reproduce itself. Scientists tell us that life on earth began around 3.7 billion years ago. They do not know exactly how it happened, or exactly where it happened, or if it could have been brought to earth from another planet or chunk of interstellar rock (where it evolved). But they do know what constitutes life. Again, it needs to be in a protective shell/membrane, it needs to sustain itself actively through metabolism, and it must have a means of reproduction, or it would not continue existing into future generations.
Another great explanation that you can access is a TED Talk by Martin Hanczyc, from the Centre for Integrative Biology at the University of Trento (Italy), which is in the link below. In this talk, called The Line Between Life and Non-Life, he clearly explains how these three elements are important to life and the continued existing of life, and it’s remarkable to see how his lab experiments show how a protocell can be, in my words, actively existing.
Here is a slide from Martin Hanczyz’s talk showing the essential characteristics of living systems.
Evolution is a description of how existing/caring changes living organisms over time to continue existing in their environments. For instance, I live on the coast of Maine, and it’s winter. Looking outside my window right now, some birds like seagulls live here through the winter because evolution shaped it that way for them to continue existing; other birds, like Ospreys, live elsewhere in the winter to continue existing as a species. Hardwoods like birch trees in my yard drop their leaves in the fall because evolution shaped it that way for them to continue existing. A flock of turkeys comes by my house every few days as they loop and loop throughout the area in search of food because evolution shaped it that way for them to continue existing.
Evolution also explains that when the environment changes, those plants and animals that change with it will continue existing; those that do not change successfully will not. The Universal Law of Existing states that for continued existing, the principles of natural selection ensure that some living beings will continue existing and some will not. It’s frighteningly simple: just life or death, existing or not.
Active “Existing” — Caring
In defining what constitutes living from non-living matter, and in my fruitful travels through the Internet that included so many outstanding lectures and presentations, I came across a wonderful definition of life, offered by Fred Spire. He describes life as...
A regime that contains a hereditary program for defining and directing molecular mechanisms that actively extract matter and energy from the environment, with the aid of which, matter and energy are converted into building blocks for its own maintenance, and if possible, reproduction.
The key words here are “actively” and “for its own maintenance” because that’s where existing comes into play. As soon as chemicals on our planet interacted to become something living, or something working to maintain itself, it was caring, or caring for its own existing — to continue existing. Everything living would be “actively” existing/caring until it doesn’t anymore. Existing/caring continues until death.
Every aspect of a cell, of a group of cells, of a living structure or system, or of the entirety of a living organism, is caring. Sometimes it is single-celled caring organism, and sometimes it is an orchestra of caring cells in structures and systems in a living being like a plant or animal. Bacteria are existing/caring, worms are existing/caring, palm trees are existing/caring, snow leopards are existing/caring, island roses are existing/caring, elephants are existing/caring, you and I are existing/caring...you get my point. And one of the greatest realizations from this discovery of existing/caring is that everything alive is equal — all forms of life are literally the same active process of existing/caring, just in different packages.
With all of that in mind, let’s come back to mutually caring relationships. In every part of us, from respiration, to digestion, to sensations, to emotions, to relationships and everything else, it is — at its most fundamental level — caring. It’s existing like any particle or grouping of matter in the universe, and it is existing as caring because it is a living organism, or what I previously called actively existing.
As stated earlier, mutually caring relationships offer the most significant contribution to our well being. We know that inherently, we feel that personally, and we now have more and more science to back that up. My favorite evidenced-based demonstration of the importance of relationships, or mutually caring relationships, comes from a study performed by Harvard University, called the Study on Adult Development. It followed a few hundred men over 75 years to observe them, their lives, and their physical and emotional well-being; perhaps the best of its kind, the best long-term study we have, and obviously from an extremely credible source.
Please see the link below to listen to the marvelous Ted talk by psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, the Director of the 75-year study, indicating that relationships are the key contributing factor to our physical and emotional well-being. It’s called What Makes a Good Life: Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness.
Here is a slide from Robert Waldinger’s presentation demonstrating the type of data they captured over 75 years to discover the essential and primary benefits of strong, nurturing, caring relationships on participants’ well-being.
Also, as a psychotherapist, I have been trained in several modalities, most of them in the Cognitive Behavioral Treatment category. One of them — and the foundation of my practice — is the Relational Model from the Stone Center at Wellesley College. The basic tenet of the Relational Model is mutually empathic and growth fostering relationships. By that, and from their decades of research, they mean the best relationships are the ones that are mutually caring, empathic, understanding, as well as mutually growth fostering, or that each person in the relationship works towards their own and the other’s growth and well being. I have shortened this to say that the best relationships are ones where we care about each other, and we believe in each other.
I have employed this model in my practice for nearly 20 years, having learned that modality soon after becoming a therapist, and now I offer a specific workshop, called the Relational/Emotional Discovery Workshop. In this workshop, participants learn the fundamentals of participating in mutually caring relationships, enjoying the positive emotions from these relationships and building the personal resilience we need to address the challenging experiences and emotions of living a normal, healthy life.
In conclusion, and although I will probably update, correct, and submit modifications throughout the year, this blog post represents my initial explanation for why I believe there is a direct connection between what happened after the big bang to how and why we love and need each other today. Existing from a purely matter point of view is passive, but existing from a living point of view is active, or actively caring, and mutually caring relationships are the key component for us human beings.
With our capable minds and enormous capacity for self awareness, we have many names for ourselves, and we put ourselves into different categories across the globe — like white, black, and brown; Japanese, Argentinian, and American; tall, short, and skinny. But just like physics tells us there is one reality of 17 interacting fields, biology and psychology can tell us there’s only one reality or mode of being for anything living, which is actively existing, or caring.
That is why and how we can discover the connection between the Universal Law of Existing and mutually caring relationships.
If you’re interested, it would be wonderful to hear from you. Any thoughts, reactions, comments, corrections, or anything else would be greatly appreciated. I hope we can start a conversation on these issues. You can reach me on my Facebook page, Twitter @LorenAndrews, or at LJAndrews@me.com. Thank you.